Summary of Hunt-Gather-Parent

This article, a summary of key points from Hunt-Gather-Parent, looks at what ancient cultures can teach us a bout parenting. It’s worth a read in-full, but the basic gist below:

A culture of rewards and punishments go against children’s innate instincts to work collaboratively with people they love and to learn through autonomous exploration. This is a sentiment echoed by Nonviolent Communication, How to Talk so Kids Will Listen, and Punished by Rewards.

Instead of separating children from the adult activities, Maya parents go about their regular lives—with chores, hobbies, work, and social outings—and allow kids to tag along, an idea also supported by the likes of the Montessori pedagogy and Ted Lasso. ‘Over time, the child learns useful life skills, but they also learn something critical to a peaceful home: how to work together with their family.’

Lastly, they Mayan and Intuit cultures share a common practice of not arguing with children. ‘Many Inuit parents see arguing with children as silly and a waste of time. When a parent argues with a child, the parent stoops to the child’s level. The child simply learns to argue and to value arguing.’ Arguing with kids is a strange blend of reward and punishment, reward in that the kid has your attention and punishment, well, because arguing is terrible. Rather than arguing, try on educating, as How to Talk so Kids Will Listen recommends.